Staring Contest

November 12, 2005. 8:00PM. Tonight's staring match is scheduled for 10 rounds. In the first corner, wearing black and red, is Dreyfus. In the second corner, wearing blue and grey, is Mark. Round 1: This one goes to Dreyfus. His "lick Mark's face" manuever totally caught Mark off guard. Round 2: This one also goes to Dreyfus. The damn "like Mark's face" manuever might be unbeatable. Round 3: Easy win for Mark. Dreyfus heard the neighbors open their door. Round 4: Easy win for Mark, but he cheated by blowing on Dreyfus's nose. Referee gives Mark a warning for unsportmanlike conduct. Round 5: Draw. 30 seconds, neither side blinked. Round 6: Easy win for Mark. Dreyfus isn't enjoying this game. Mark calls a 30 minute break so each side can replan. Round 7: Easy win for Dreyfus. Mark saw something on TV that caught his eye. Round 8: Another easy win for Dreyfus. Mark got an instant message and looked at the message. Round 9: Dreyfus looked away at 20 seconds. No known reason. Round 10: Dreyfus looked away after 2 seconds. He's a lover, not a fighter. He appears to lack the killer instinct needed to take the Staring Champion of the World crown. Final score: Mark 5.5, Dreyfus 4.5. Mark wins!